I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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