be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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