I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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