how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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