I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
