The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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