i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
