Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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