Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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