Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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