so let's talk penis.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
