Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you would pick up someone in the library
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
