the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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