Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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