Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
