Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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