he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
