Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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