I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
