oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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