last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
