Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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