D3 body, D1 cock
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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