u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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