I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
