Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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