Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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