hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
