Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I didn't notice because vodka
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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