i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
