Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
