we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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