Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
