You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
