Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
