Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
