Since when is my name a synonym for head?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
