Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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