she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.