Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch

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  (318): That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch http://tfl.nu/faw2
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  now i know why i became what i already was.

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  (310): now i know why i became what i already was. http://tfl.nu/jcnf
  Replies (9) Good night (2158) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.

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  (360): I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels. http://tfl.nu/pla2
  Replies (12) Good night (5644) Bad night (1094) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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  (519): Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule http://tfl.nu/w6uq
  Replies (4) Good night (2571) Bad night (1516) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?

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  (+44): I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions? http://tfl.nu/vtab
  Replies (7) Good night (2503) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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  (815): you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night. http://tfl.nu/m1vr
  Replies (6) Good night (3249) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.

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  (585): He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working. http://tfl.nu/9caj
  Replies (8) Good night (4415) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.

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  (404): He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13. http://tfl.nu/mb7j
  Replies (13) Good night (8158) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk

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  (613): Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk http://tfl.nu/x5i0
  Replies (6) Good night (1359) Bad night (422)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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  (301): And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble http://tfl.nu/0x8g
  Replies (7) Good night (2219) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (590) Bad night (1018) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.

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  (314): It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved. http://tfl.nu/gg0m
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (296)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.

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  (614): Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty. http://tfl.nu/ysw1
  Replies (3) Good night (908) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  Sounds like a good New Years

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  (204): I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this. (1-204): Sounds like a good New Years http://tfl.nu/ss2q
  Replies (4) Good night (1087) Bad night (398)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

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  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt

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