Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
