Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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