i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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