my phone cant type all the emotion im having
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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