but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
