that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
