If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
