this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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