ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Randomize
