I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
