my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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