so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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