Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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