Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
