I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
