don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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