I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
