You made me cry and you don't even care
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
