On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's just like the Real World with babies
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
